But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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