new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
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