oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
