You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize