well I can't set my house on fire every night
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
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so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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