can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize