You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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