we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
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