Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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