You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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