so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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