I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
It's just like the Real World with babies
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize