I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Porn is love you can see.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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