how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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