thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize