fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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