Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to make out with him forever
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize