My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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