i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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