The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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