At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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