So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
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When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
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I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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