2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Two words: nipple clamps
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