she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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