this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
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You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
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We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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