I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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