Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize