I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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