I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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