guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize