I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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