when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
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I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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