My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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