walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
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Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
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So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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