either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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