i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize