I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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