I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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