why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
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My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
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There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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