a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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