So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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