if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
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The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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