I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize