i would punch a child for taco bell
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize