I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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