nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize