i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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