my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize