k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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