I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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