thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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