the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
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I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
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Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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